So, it was a long morning. And that is okay, as I am working mornings from here on! I labeled myself as a “morning person!” when I got this job and I find myself quickly becoming a morning expert!
Morning people are:
1. Annoyed when you ask for their drink order (as you should know it!)
2. Usually in a hurry
3. Not very talkative
4. Still sleepy, aka- Yawning when they walk in the door
5. Dressed impeccably (and flawless makeup)
6. Very detached from their surroundings (this could have to do with #4)
7. Not wanting conversation
So, all this to say, I have LOVED mornings…I want to crack jokes, be playful, all in a non-threatening environment… And morning people are great fodder for joke-telling. They aren’t expecting much at 5 am, so really, they will laugh at anything! I could say “booga, booga” and they would crack a smile. They aren’t the social butterflies that I am used to in the evening.* They are up because they have work to do and the last thing they want is to have to talk to someone BEFORE they’ve had their coffee…
*Evening people are usually (for the most part) fairly trendy coffeshop type people that are used to insane behavior, and nothing really surprises them…they want to have a conversation and tell you why THEY are COOL…and why you should be PRIVILEGED to serve them…yeah, yeah, heard it all before…
So, I like to consider myself a celebrity in this right… I think the morning people think my eccentricity is a result of their presence, and if they want to think that, then we are all good. Keep those $5 and $20 tips coming our way! Not to mention (but I’m going to anyway), I think I am pretty clever and can offer some witty banter with the best of them.
It was this morning, EARLY, that I hit a snafu and met a worthy verbal foe. This guy kept coming back at me with jabs, he backed me into a corner, and I had nothing to say, I stood there for a second, had even thought of a good comeback (it was too late at this point) and right as he started to smile a triumphant smile, I began to quote, from the first line, the movie “Aladdin.” People stared at me until I finished the impressive monologue from the opening credits of the movie. The guy shook his head and said, “I’m going to defer to you on this one, blondie…mainly because I can’t think of anything to top that…and I need a couple minutes to figure out why it is you saw fit to memorize those lines…”
Those movie lines are my “go-to,” but now that I’ve used them, I think I might need a new “go-to.” I guess I could just yell, “Objection. Sustained. Case closed.” when I am at a loss for words.
It all started, me being in a weird mood today, when I was opening…I went to get the umbrella to set up, and I noticed, never fail, a cricket…thinking, (sarcastic) “Great.” And this cricket was small, but he looked very threatening… and it was at that moment, at closer scrutiny, it wasn’t a cricket, it was a small black GRASSHOPPER…which is even worse because those little yahoos can fly!
And so, when the grasshopper made eye contact with me, I immediately ducked because I knew he was going to pull a kamikaze…and sure enough, true to form (at least true to form that I saw of grasshoppers in the movie “Antz”), he came flying at my head. I know better than to scream, because then he flies in my mouth and I become part grasshopper and part human…like Grasswoman or Hopperhuman or something insane like that. Akin to what Batman experienced when he confronted his fears.
So, the little guy jumps around, hits the pillar behind me, then makes another go of it. But I am larger (by many lbs) in what I lack in agility and jumping ability compared to him, so I “woman up” and swat at him, immediately shaking my hand in case he tries to gecko grab my skin and infect me with grasshopper juices. I watch him hit the pavement of the parking lot and limp away, defeated. Haha. If you’ve never seen a grasshopper “walk,” it’s worth the effort. Grasshopper 0, Kara 2 (I get an extra point for also facing my fear).
Objection? Overruled.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
"Cheers!" (Where everybody knows your name!)
Oh today was ruthless…RUTHLESS I tell you… It was exhilarating in the way that only a true athlete can appreciate. I felt spent and adrenalized at the time of my departure. After 8 grueling hours, 8 HOURS of what felt like playing catch-up with a cheetah I left the store victorious. I had won. Everyone had been served and it wasn’t until the last five minutes, literally, that I even faced so much as a snafu.
Right before I oozed through the door, a puddle of exhaustion, a man walked in, and said, “I’m back!” I raised my eyebrows quizzically as if to say, “Riddle me this- when were you ever here in the first place?” Anyway, he wanted a Bold brew…which was no longer brewing on the drip machine and would have to be performed as a pour-over, no big deal, two minutes TOPS, I tell him. Nothing doing, he says, “No, it’s not strong enough…” and I was too tired and detached at this point to even explain that the taste was no different…and he said, “Pike is TOO strong…” and at this point, I had to interject, even though someone else was ringing him up on the register, “Sir, Pike is our MILD blend…” (aka- it’s the least strong we brew)…he looked at me as if I had just told him we were out of coffee…then he proceeded to inform me, “Okay, missy [it has to be noted here, he did say “missy” and I am not making this up…], I know you think people don’t know coffee, but I KNOW bold and strong coffees and beans…” And I started to say, “Yeah, well? Tell them I said Hello next time you see them…” instead I said, “Okay, boys and girls- peace out! I’m off the clock!” And I made eye contact with the other shift manager and said, “Good luck with this bozo, sweetie!”
I did realize something as I was driving away…today had been so out of the ordinary, what with all our OU fans coming into the store…the mood was electric all morning…and although it wasn’t sunshine and rainbows the whole time we were in there, like when we ran out of cups and lids and 2% milk simultaneously (okay, not really, but it felt like it!), for the most part, people were patient and genuinely happy to be indulging in Starbucks coffee on a cold Fall morning. It felt like F-A-L-L…and my heart was full and radiating with warmth. I got a little distant for about 30 minutes and it was during this time that a woman came in and ordered, “A delicious, yummy scone…mmmmMmm…” (and she made all these noises and sound effects and she was super cheery and smiley…). At the moment, the annoyance factor in me was already extremely high…so I kind of couldn’t stand her bubble gum happiness exuding all over the counter. I kind of looked her…and her radiance wouldn’t be dimmed…so I had to ask- “What the deal with the joy down in your heart?” and the minute I said it…it dawned on me- she had just gotten done worshipping God. I stood there and listened to her say, “I just came from church and had the best time praising God. And right now- I’m thanking Him for people like you who work on Sunday to serve people like me who want coffee on Sunday…” I looked at her for a second like an out of body experience. I told her sometimes I feel judged for working on Sunday…but it’s probably just me…I think people are happy for the most part for having Starbucks available on Sunday…
She said, “Well, I am sure you have a delightful relationship with God and that He’s happy you are serving Him in any capacity…”
I stuck my bottom lip out for a second (as that is my “ponder face”…) and I told her, “You know what- I think our paths were supposed to cross today…thanks for making my day much better with your presence!”
You never know what God can have in store for a caffeine seeking voyager and the supplier of said voyage. I felt almost oracle-like after she left, “Go in harmony, little grasshopper…may that soy pumpkin spice latte promote into you the many addictions of caffeine...and may the joy of God’s blessing of coffee make you ever mindful of insomnia and alert living forevermore and more…Amen and bottoms up!”
Right before I oozed through the door, a puddle of exhaustion, a man walked in, and said, “I’m back!” I raised my eyebrows quizzically as if to say, “Riddle me this- when were you ever here in the first place?” Anyway, he wanted a Bold brew…which was no longer brewing on the drip machine and would have to be performed as a pour-over, no big deal, two minutes TOPS, I tell him. Nothing doing, he says, “No, it’s not strong enough…” and I was too tired and detached at this point to even explain that the taste was no different…and he said, “Pike is TOO strong…” and at this point, I had to interject, even though someone else was ringing him up on the register, “Sir, Pike is our MILD blend…” (aka- it’s the least strong we brew)…he looked at me as if I had just told him we were out of coffee…then he proceeded to inform me, “Okay, missy [it has to be noted here, he did say “missy” and I am not making this up…], I know you think people don’t know coffee, but I KNOW bold and strong coffees and beans…” And I started to say, “Yeah, well? Tell them I said Hello next time you see them…” instead I said, “Okay, boys and girls- peace out! I’m off the clock!” And I made eye contact with the other shift manager and said, “Good luck with this bozo, sweetie!”
I did realize something as I was driving away…today had been so out of the ordinary, what with all our OU fans coming into the store…the mood was electric all morning…and although it wasn’t sunshine and rainbows the whole time we were in there, like when we ran out of cups and lids and 2% milk simultaneously (okay, not really, but it felt like it!), for the most part, people were patient and genuinely happy to be indulging in Starbucks coffee on a cold Fall morning. It felt like F-A-L-L…and my heart was full and radiating with warmth. I got a little distant for about 30 minutes and it was during this time that a woman came in and ordered, “A delicious, yummy scone…mmmmMmm…” (and she made all these noises and sound effects and she was super cheery and smiley…). At the moment, the annoyance factor in me was already extremely high…so I kind of couldn’t stand her bubble gum happiness exuding all over the counter. I kind of looked her…and her radiance wouldn’t be dimmed…so I had to ask- “What the deal with the joy down in your heart?” and the minute I said it…it dawned on me- she had just gotten done worshipping God. I stood there and listened to her say, “I just came from church and had the best time praising God. And right now- I’m thanking Him for people like you who work on Sunday to serve people like me who want coffee on Sunday…” I looked at her for a second like an out of body experience. I told her sometimes I feel judged for working on Sunday…but it’s probably just me…I think people are happy for the most part for having Starbucks available on Sunday…
She said, “Well, I am sure you have a delightful relationship with God and that He’s happy you are serving Him in any capacity…”
I stuck my bottom lip out for a second (as that is my “ponder face”…) and I told her, “You know what- I think our paths were supposed to cross today…thanks for making my day much better with your presence!”
You never know what God can have in store for a caffeine seeking voyager and the supplier of said voyage. I felt almost oracle-like after she left, “Go in harmony, little grasshopper…may that soy pumpkin spice latte promote into you the many addictions of caffeine...and may the joy of God’s blessing of coffee make you ever mindful of insomnia and alert living forevermore and more…Amen and bottoms up!”
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