It’s been a rough couple of months at work, mainly because I am getting closer to obtaining my Master’s (but that’s not the only reason…longing is a wistful, yet possessive distraction). Lately, I realize that I am spending more time looking out the steamy, coffee-splattered windows into the horizon, wondering how on earth I have ended up at this point in life. How am I standing here in a green apron, holding a dang broom under my left armpit, wiping up crystallized piles of sugar in the raw from the condiment bar with a dirty sanitizer rag in my right hand…all the while, stuffy men and women wearing Perry Ellis and Brooks Brothers suits are standing behind me, waiting to whiten their coffee and widen their waists with half and half from the carafes that I just re-filled. I jostle my way up to that condiment bar to switch out the trash bags about three times a day during my shift and a lot of times, I can’t help myself, I lose focus for about 45 seconds staring at the LBJ freeway, wondering where I fit in the picture that is the real world, wondering where my Disney movie starts...WHERE is exactly "just around the river bend," Pocahontas, because I am still waiting. I usually never get more than 45 seconds before my attention is diverted away because of some other barista emergency but it’s always just long enough to remember that the real world exists, for me, inside these walls built of caffeine and drink orders that sound like science experiments gone bad.
It doesn’t do me any good to wonder why THOSE people, in the suits, have the jobs that I want…or that I think that life is so unfair at the moment…it does me no good to be bitter, regretful, etc… I just have to put on my big girl britches, and ask, in the great words of JFK, not what can this job do for me, but what can I do for this job?? What lives can I change today? How can I make someone's day better?
I keep wanting to experience some big jump to the next venture in my life, experience that career change that maxes out all these talents that make me unique, you know, that job that requires writing, reading, being hilarious and witty, an occasional overseas trip for a photo shoot of some sort where I need to wear exotic clothes and keep all the beauty supplies, and regular visits to NYC- all while paying me enough to donate half my salary to starving children in Uganda. I know that job is out there…
My mom reminded me, while I was lamenting about my rough hours, exhaustingly unpredictable schedule of morning shifts, night shifts, she said I should read my old blogs…remember the good things about the job…and you know what? it worked…I remembered the reason I loved the initial taking of this job...
People like the crazy guy that came into the Mockingbird store when I was filling in one day and I told him my name was Bumblebee and he said, “Well, Bumblebee, do you like to walk barefoot in the grass??” and I said, “Well, how else am I supposed to walk in the grass?” like it was a conversation I had every day. It doesn’t take working at a place like Starbucks to appreciate the unexpected quirks of people. The homeless lady I met the other day left me speechless…for one, I had to tell her that the outside furniture was going to be brought into the store upon closing, which meant that she was losing her seat which was right by our front door...and as she was walking away, I said, “Hey, do you want a sandwich?” and she said, “Nope, but I’d love a taco.” I couldn’t help but laugh out loud…and I said, “Well ma’am, if there was a taco bell around, I’d buy you a taco, but it looks like we’re out of luck…” and this scrawny, dirty homeless lady picked up her two ripped up CVS bags full of God knows what and said, “Don’t ‘ma’am’ me…” and walked off without a sandwich mumbling about the fact that we sold all sorts of expensive coffee but I couldn’t spare a flipping 89 cent taco for her…and I thanked God right then and there that I still had my sanity. As I was thanking God, the lady turned and said with a smile that showed she had no teeth, “You have a wonderful and blessed night blondie…” I wanted to go hug her and thank her for that toothless grin that would make me laugh when I thought of it later, because it never ceases to amaze me how weird and insane people can really be that when they lose everything that is dear to them, that they lose their mind as well? Or maybe it’s the other way around, where they lose their mind and as a result, they lose everything that is dear to them. Either way, it is people like the barefoot guy and the toothless lady that make me wonder if it is their simplicity that makes other people seem so complex or visa versa...
Not surprisingly, I meet people like this on a regular basis and it makes me realize that I have an interestingly dynamic job where I may not get to interact with the people that I do otherwise…
Even my co-workers have impressived me. The baristas from all walks of life, some married, some with kids, some single and wild and crazy, some traveled (from Ethiopia to the Netherlands to Italy and Spain), some with talents that have blown my mind (like the magician/barista who could make credit cards disappear, literally, when he took them from customers…? He could also juggle and rap at the same time…)… I have had no shortage of entertainment during my time at Starbucks.
But still, I find myself staring…looking for the next calling, even if it’s here…and I think I have to believe God’s promise, “…You have been faithful with a few things…I will put you in charge of many things…”
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