It’s been a rough couple of months at work, mainly because I am getting closer to obtaining my Master’s (but that’s not the only reason…longing is a wistful, yet possessive distraction). Lately, I realize that I am spending more time looking out the steamy, coffee-splattered windows into the horizon, wondering how on earth I have ended up at this point in life. How am I standing here in a green apron, holding a dang broom under my left armpit, wiping up crystallized piles of sugar in the raw from the condiment bar with a dirty sanitizer rag in my right hand…all the while, stuffy men and women wearing Perry Ellis and Brooks Brothers suits are standing behind me, waiting to whiten their coffee and widen their waists with half and half from the carafes that I just re-filled. I jostle my way up to that condiment bar to switch out the trash bags about three times a day during my shift and a lot of times, I can’t help myself, I lose focus for about 45 seconds staring at the LBJ freeway, wondering where I fit in the picture that is the real world, wondering where my Disney movie starts...WHERE is exactly "just around the river bend," Pocahontas, because I am still waiting. I usually never get more than 45 seconds before my attention is diverted away because of some other barista emergency but it’s always just long enough to remember that the real world exists, for me, inside these walls built of caffeine and drink orders that sound like science experiments gone bad.
It doesn’t do me any good to wonder why THOSE people, in the suits, have the jobs that I want…or that I think that life is so unfair at the moment…it does me no good to be bitter, regretful, etc… I just have to put on my big girl britches, and ask, in the great words of JFK, not what can this job do for me, but what can I do for this job?? What lives can I change today? How can I make someone's day better?
I keep wanting to experience some big jump to the next venture in my life, experience that career change that maxes out all these talents that make me unique, you know, that job that requires writing, reading, being hilarious and witty, an occasional overseas trip for a photo shoot of some sort where I need to wear exotic clothes and keep all the beauty supplies, and regular visits to NYC- all while paying me enough to donate half my salary to starving children in Uganda. I know that job is out there…
My mom reminded me, while I was lamenting about my rough hours, exhaustingly unpredictable schedule of morning shifts, night shifts, she said I should read my old blogs…remember the good things about the job…and you know what? it worked…I remembered the reason I loved the initial taking of this job...
People like the crazy guy that came into the Mockingbird store when I was filling in one day and I told him my name was Bumblebee and he said, “Well, Bumblebee, do you like to walk barefoot in the grass??” and I said, “Well, how else am I supposed to walk in the grass?” like it was a conversation I had every day. It doesn’t take working at a place like Starbucks to appreciate the unexpected quirks of people. The homeless lady I met the other day left me speechless…for one, I had to tell her that the outside furniture was going to be brought into the store upon closing, which meant that she was losing her seat which was right by our front door...and as she was walking away, I said, “Hey, do you want a sandwich?” and she said, “Nope, but I’d love a taco.” I couldn’t help but laugh out loud…and I said, “Well ma’am, if there was a taco bell around, I’d buy you a taco, but it looks like we’re out of luck…” and this scrawny, dirty homeless lady picked up her two ripped up CVS bags full of God knows what and said, “Don’t ‘ma’am’ me…” and walked off without a sandwich mumbling about the fact that we sold all sorts of expensive coffee but I couldn’t spare a flipping 89 cent taco for her…and I thanked God right then and there that I still had my sanity. As I was thanking God, the lady turned and said with a smile that showed she had no teeth, “You have a wonderful and blessed night blondie…” I wanted to go hug her and thank her for that toothless grin that would make me laugh when I thought of it later, because it never ceases to amaze me how weird and insane people can really be that when they lose everything that is dear to them, that they lose their mind as well? Or maybe it’s the other way around, where they lose their mind and as a result, they lose everything that is dear to them. Either way, it is people like the barefoot guy and the toothless lady that make me wonder if it is their simplicity that makes other people seem so complex or visa versa...
Not surprisingly, I meet people like this on a regular basis and it makes me realize that I have an interestingly dynamic job where I may not get to interact with the people that I do otherwise…
Even my co-workers have impressived me. The baristas from all walks of life, some married, some with kids, some single and wild and crazy, some traveled (from Ethiopia to the Netherlands to Italy and Spain), some with talents that have blown my mind (like the magician/barista who could make credit cards disappear, literally, when he took them from customers…? He could also juggle and rap at the same time…)… I have had no shortage of entertainment during my time at Starbucks.
But still, I find myself staring…looking for the next calling, even if it’s here…and I think I have to believe God’s promise, “…You have been faithful with a few things…I will put you in charge of many things…”
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Shaken, stirred, frapped, and whipped!
I know previously that I had mentioned how, after working at Starbucks for a while, I was beginning to chant the drinks in my dreams, in my nightmares, in my spare time…it was becoming habit for me. I haven’t been doing that as much anymore, even though I do love showing off at work when someone has a really hard drink and they go through very slow and loud like I’m hard of hearing or something, like, “Okay, now, I want a VEN-ti, DE-caf, SKIIIIIM milk (it has to be skim please), one hundred and EIGHTY degree, no foam LAT-TAY with 4 pumps of SUGARFREE vanilla…please use the sugarfree because one time I went to a starbucks and they didn’t have it and they gave me the regular syrup and it was just TOO SWEET…gross, so please sugar free…now, do you need me to say that again”
Blandly, I will stare at the unassuming patron, reach over to pick up the cup, ask “What’s your name?” and they say, “[Beep]*”
*(names have been removed to protect the identity of the ridiculed)…
So after writing the name, I say to the barista while staring at the customer, “Venti-decaf-4 pump sugarfree vanilla-180-no foam-skinny vanilla latte for [Beep]”- Bam! How about them apples?
As I spout these drinks off throughout the day, I oftentimes notice how people begin to look like their drinks…just like with the owner-pet thing.
The skinny drink orders ALMOST always remind me of their skinny drinks…and even if they’re not LITERALLY skinny, there is something tepid about the way they order it that insinuates they are being stretched “thin” in their personal lives, as though they are ordering with a sense of longing for something MORE than a skinny latte…almost like they have to add extra hot or no foam just to make the drink have a little more substance to its creation.
I love that children and teenagers 8 out of 10 times order something fun and indulgent like Frappuccinos or white mochas or something with cream and sprinkles on top, because that is how teenagers and kids are supposed to act. Never “hold the whip” when it is for a teenager or child!
The people that order hot chocolate are usually not the suit and tie types…they are usually the cautiously pessimistic non-coffee type of people that are too scared to ask us what else we have that doesn’t have coffee flavor in it (which most people are surprised to know that pretty much all of our drinks, aside from drip coffee, can be made without espresso in them and still be delicious sans caffeine!). The hot chocolate group sometimes drives me batty because I want to tell them that Swiss Miss makes better hot chocolate than us…we don’t even have marshmallows!! The least they can do is add Peppermint or white mocha! [Disclaimer: sometimes we will get regulars who order hot chocolate just because it is cold outside and they want something comforting…I do not hold it against them for ordering it on “occasion.”]
The men and women that order Americanos are a tough crowd- they are hard to read because of their stoicism. Just like the drink’s name, Americano (which rolls off the tongue nicely) it is rich without being showy. There is an elegance and grace about these people…they are purveyors of fine taste… I drink Americanos.
Doppio (2), triple (3), or quad (4) espresso drinkers (straight shots of thick espresso) are reserved for the people who are kinetic in their personality. They are usually a little jumpy and nervous, but not always. Sometimes, there is a slight tremor in their gaze, a desperate and anxious distraction to their detachment with everyone around them. For the most part, I spend a lot of time observing our espresso drinkers like they are paintings or works of art that are about to self-destruct. I try to stay away from straight shots of espresso for fear of turning into one of these strange creatures.
My iced tea drinkers are few and far between, but I do love them. There is something wholesome and pure about an iced tea drinker. They remind me of people that enjoy sitting on the front porch to enjoy a glass of lemonade, life before flavored syrups and blended drinks came along to corrupt us all.
Last but not least, drip coffee drinkers- the life blood of our population. Drip coffee drinkers are scary because of their deep appreciation and conviction for strong coffee. Drip coffee has more caffeine than anything else we serve, so these people are strictly business about their beverages. They don’t want to wait for an espresso drink to be made and they certainly don’t like to answer any questions aside from do they want “room for cream”…they have lives to lead and they need to get on their way! I love serving drip coffee because it is easy and fast, so I pretty much love drip coffee drinkers. Even if they are the least social (for the MOST part) and the least “fun” as far as maintenance is concerned. As long as their coffee is fresh (and 19 out of 20 times it is) and hot, they are happy, which will be evident by the terse smile they offer. Drip coffee drinkers don't have smile lines.
But trust me- you NEVER want to get on the bad side of a drip coffee drinker BEFORE they have had their drip coffee, it is not pretty. Kind of like standing next to a dog who is eating out of his food bowl, drip coffee drinkers can be savage beasts if they are not happy.
Blandly, I will stare at the unassuming patron, reach over to pick up the cup, ask “What’s your name?” and they say, “[Beep]*”
*(names have been removed to protect the identity of the ridiculed)…
So after writing the name, I say to the barista while staring at the customer, “Venti-decaf-4 pump sugarfree vanilla-180-no foam-skinny vanilla latte for [Beep]”- Bam! How about them apples?
As I spout these drinks off throughout the day, I oftentimes notice how people begin to look like their drinks…just like with the owner-pet thing.
The skinny drink orders ALMOST always remind me of their skinny drinks…and even if they’re not LITERALLY skinny, there is something tepid about the way they order it that insinuates they are being stretched “thin” in their personal lives, as though they are ordering with a sense of longing for something MORE than a skinny latte…almost like they have to add extra hot or no foam just to make the drink have a little more substance to its creation.
I love that children and teenagers 8 out of 10 times order something fun and indulgent like Frappuccinos or white mochas or something with cream and sprinkles on top, because that is how teenagers and kids are supposed to act. Never “hold the whip” when it is for a teenager or child!
The people that order hot chocolate are usually not the suit and tie types…they are usually the cautiously pessimistic non-coffee type of people that are too scared to ask us what else we have that doesn’t have coffee flavor in it (which most people are surprised to know that pretty much all of our drinks, aside from drip coffee, can be made without espresso in them and still be delicious sans caffeine!). The hot chocolate group sometimes drives me batty because I want to tell them that Swiss Miss makes better hot chocolate than us…we don’t even have marshmallows!! The least they can do is add Peppermint or white mocha! [Disclaimer: sometimes we will get regulars who order hot chocolate just because it is cold outside and they want something comforting…I do not hold it against them for ordering it on “occasion.”]
The men and women that order Americanos are a tough crowd- they are hard to read because of their stoicism. Just like the drink’s name, Americano (which rolls off the tongue nicely) it is rich without being showy. There is an elegance and grace about these people…they are purveyors of fine taste… I drink Americanos.
Doppio (2), triple (3), or quad (4) espresso drinkers (straight shots of thick espresso) are reserved for the people who are kinetic in their personality. They are usually a little jumpy and nervous, but not always. Sometimes, there is a slight tremor in their gaze, a desperate and anxious distraction to their detachment with everyone around them. For the most part, I spend a lot of time observing our espresso drinkers like they are paintings or works of art that are about to self-destruct. I try to stay away from straight shots of espresso for fear of turning into one of these strange creatures.
My iced tea drinkers are few and far between, but I do love them. There is something wholesome and pure about an iced tea drinker. They remind me of people that enjoy sitting on the front porch to enjoy a glass of lemonade, life before flavored syrups and blended drinks came along to corrupt us all.
Last but not least, drip coffee drinkers- the life blood of our population. Drip coffee drinkers are scary because of their deep appreciation and conviction for strong coffee. Drip coffee has more caffeine than anything else we serve, so these people are strictly business about their beverages. They don’t want to wait for an espresso drink to be made and they certainly don’t like to answer any questions aside from do they want “room for cream”…they have lives to lead and they need to get on their way! I love serving drip coffee because it is easy and fast, so I pretty much love drip coffee drinkers. Even if they are the least social (for the MOST part) and the least “fun” as far as maintenance is concerned. As long as their coffee is fresh (and 19 out of 20 times it is) and hot, they are happy, which will be evident by the terse smile they offer. Drip coffee drinkers don't have smile lines.
But trust me- you NEVER want to get on the bad side of a drip coffee drinker BEFORE they have had their drip coffee, it is not pretty. Kind of like standing next to a dog who is eating out of his food bowl, drip coffee drinkers can be savage beasts if they are not happy.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Do Not Talk to Strangers, unless they offer good advice...
To my followers (aka- my parents, haha)…I’m so sorry I haven’t blogged in a while. I have been extremely busy, not to sound like I am more “important” in some sense than anyone else, but my schedule hasn’t exactly allowed for time to sit and reflect upon Starbucks as an environment about which I would like to describe in an entertaining manner…as I guess happens to all of us as a hobby becomes a “job!”
And wow- what a job it has been! High and lows…highs from the everyday interactions with new and exciting people and lows for being reprimanded on such things as falling short on the call of miniscule daily duties…who knew I didn’t know how to mop a bathroom or wipe down a window sill…but apparently I do not know how to do these things. Far be it from me to not do the little things but I tried to explain that I am one of those “big picture” types…
My work philosophy- imagination does not like to tiptoe around with practicality…it envisions a Starbucks that offers patrons a more rewarding and interactive experience as opposed to just clean restrooms… And let me tell you where big picture thinking got me—wiping down the underside of tables, scraping off gum and old coffee stains! Gross! I guess somebody has to do it.
Also, in my defense being a “little picture” person has almost made me a more irritable worker…it’s harder to look with endearment upon the little kids splashing around in their Frappuccino mess over on the cushions of the chair while their mother gestures WILDLY and OBLIVIOUSLY visiting, loudly, with her friends when I am watching the seemingly possessed and animalistic children...daydreaming about in what order I will later approach the mess they are creating…. “Should I use wipes, then the mop, then dry it…? Or should I dry it, wipe it, then mop it?...Oh, excuse me! What would you like to drink today…might I suggest SOME MANNERS FOR YOUR CHILDREN?!?!” Ha. Ha. Kidding.
Lately, I have tried various tactics to mask my distracted exhaustion. I often resort to small talk and smiles, but the people that are regulars know me (and my aversion to small talk) and they want to know why I’m not singing or dancing as I usually am…and why no random questions about their life…like if they think that white and black are real colors…
What’s amazing is that the customers are more astute about my disposition than I am! I appreciate it, usually, and I have found the best way to navigate a tough day at Starbucks is to be honest…people are full of advice on how to overcome a “woke up on the wrong side of the bed” type of day. I’ve heard everything, and I am compiling a list of the best advice I have received at Starbucks below:
1. Stay away from caffeine (I loved this one because it was from a co-worker!)
2. Eat one raw jalapeno a day… “That’ll REEEVVVV your engine!” the guy told me. (I replied, “I’m only having a bad day…I don’t have a death wish for my taste buds…”)
3. Go into a room of your house that’s quiet alone and read your favorite magazine or book (I live alone…that is every day of my life…but thanks for rubbing it in and making me wallow in my loneliness) haha!
4. Go shopping (coming from a lady whose wristwatch cost more than my yearly salary)…
5. Wrap seaweed around your toes… (At which prompting, I could help looking down at the feet of the proposer and notice the tennis shoes DID have a dingy tint to them…gross!!! I didn’t even ask for an explanation, but come to think of it, I wish I HAD! Brings a new meaning to the phrase, “He’s Gellin…” Dr.Scholl’s for those of you who don’t watch commercials…)
6. Go to a shooting range… (“No, really…” says the young man when he sees my appalled face, “I try to fit it in my schedule every couple days…” at which I couldn’t help thinking, “What happens when the range doesn’t fit into your schedule?!?!?!”)
7. Take more naps… (this offered by the same lady that told me to “Go shopping” and “Have my house cleaned by a cleaning service at least once a week…” thanks a lot lady, as you take your double-chocolate chip decaf Frappuccino to lay across your loveseat and nap while being fanned by your various household staff…)
Anyway, come to find out, there is no shortage of advice to be given…and Starbucks seems to be teeming with experts in every field from rifles to rhinestones! On that note, duty calls (from the dirty bathroom), back to work doing what I do best- imagining how I will answer my interview questions on the Today show…
“Well, Matt, thanks for having me on the show…can I offer you a jalapeno?”
And wow- what a job it has been! High and lows…highs from the everyday interactions with new and exciting people and lows for being reprimanded on such things as falling short on the call of miniscule daily duties…who knew I didn’t know how to mop a bathroom or wipe down a window sill…but apparently I do not know how to do these things. Far be it from me to not do the little things but I tried to explain that I am one of those “big picture” types…
My work philosophy- imagination does not like to tiptoe around with practicality…it envisions a Starbucks that offers patrons a more rewarding and interactive experience as opposed to just clean restrooms… And let me tell you where big picture thinking got me—wiping down the underside of tables, scraping off gum and old coffee stains! Gross! I guess somebody has to do it.
Also, in my defense being a “little picture” person has almost made me a more irritable worker…it’s harder to look with endearment upon the little kids splashing around in their Frappuccino mess over on the cushions of the chair while their mother gestures WILDLY and OBLIVIOUSLY visiting, loudly, with her friends when I am watching the seemingly possessed and animalistic children...daydreaming about in what order I will later approach the mess they are creating…. “Should I use wipes, then the mop, then dry it…? Or should I dry it, wipe it, then mop it?...Oh, excuse me! What would you like to drink today…might I suggest SOME MANNERS FOR YOUR CHILDREN?!?!” Ha. Ha. Kidding.
Lately, I have tried various tactics to mask my distracted exhaustion. I often resort to small talk and smiles, but the people that are regulars know me (and my aversion to small talk) and they want to know why I’m not singing or dancing as I usually am…and why no random questions about their life…like if they think that white and black are real colors…
What’s amazing is that the customers are more astute about my disposition than I am! I appreciate it, usually, and I have found the best way to navigate a tough day at Starbucks is to be honest…people are full of advice on how to overcome a “woke up on the wrong side of the bed” type of day. I’ve heard everything, and I am compiling a list of the best advice I have received at Starbucks below:
1. Stay away from caffeine (I loved this one because it was from a co-worker!)
2. Eat one raw jalapeno a day… “That’ll REEEVVVV your engine!” the guy told me. (I replied, “I’m only having a bad day…I don’t have a death wish for my taste buds…”)
3. Go into a room of your house that’s quiet alone and read your favorite magazine or book (I live alone…that is every day of my life…but thanks for rubbing it in and making me wallow in my loneliness) haha!
4. Go shopping (coming from a lady whose wristwatch cost more than my yearly salary)…
5. Wrap seaweed around your toes… (At which prompting, I could help looking down at the feet of the proposer and notice the tennis shoes DID have a dingy tint to them…gross!!! I didn’t even ask for an explanation, but come to think of it, I wish I HAD! Brings a new meaning to the phrase, “He’s Gellin…” Dr.Scholl’s for those of you who don’t watch commercials…)
6. Go to a shooting range… (“No, really…” says the young man when he sees my appalled face, “I try to fit it in my schedule every couple days…” at which I couldn’t help thinking, “What happens when the range doesn’t fit into your schedule?!?!?!”)
7. Take more naps… (this offered by the same lady that told me to “Go shopping” and “Have my house cleaned by a cleaning service at least once a week…” thanks a lot lady, as you take your double-chocolate chip decaf Frappuccino to lay across your loveseat and nap while being fanned by your various household staff…)
Anyway, come to find out, there is no shortage of advice to be given…and Starbucks seems to be teeming with experts in every field from rifles to rhinestones! On that note, duty calls (from the dirty bathroom), back to work doing what I do best- imagining how I will answer my interview questions on the Today show…
“Well, Matt, thanks for having me on the show…can I offer you a jalapeno?”
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