Free Frappuccino Fridays!!!!

So, my idea for Free Frappuccino Fridays isn’t the best marketing plan for making money, but I’m convinced that alliteration can play a KEY role in getting people to believe that they are getting a good deal. For example, Triple Toffee Mocha Tuesday (where Starbucks could charge triple price for Toffee drinks on Tuesday) might work because people like “specials”… I guarantee everyone reading this has bought something on special, when, in fact, it’s not the “best deal” available. I have news- nothing in life is free. Everything comes at a price…even if it is advertised as free…something is going to be compromised or sacrificed for that “special.” So, if you hear about a special…know that you are being scammed, more than likely…unless of course, you are using a treat receipt from Starbucks, in which case, you are receiving a wonderful deal on a delicious drink. Trust me. I drink coffee, I know things.

Today and yesterday, the focus is kids. Screaming, yelling, “don’t talk to stranger” kids… I love it when a parent comes into Starbucks and is battle weary from their child…they are SO grateful for a couple minutes when we entertain the child, letting them have little cups of whipped cream with caramel swirls or a bite of a cookie…the look on the parent’s face is priceless…almost like they are ENJOYING their child again, proud of the little munchkin for being so in awe of a simple pleasure…oh, the bliss of ignorance, to be a child again with childlike simplicity!
Today’s story occurred when a little boy of about four had his neck tangled on the stretchy seatbelt-like cord that constructs the line formation for Starbucks. I was paying particularly close attention to him because I didn’t need a lawsuit on MY watch…much to my happiness, the mother was also watching him closely and said, “Get away from that noose…” (Pause here to inform reader, there was no such thing as a noose in our Starbucks and I was just as confused as you probably are by the use of the word “noose” by a mother to her toddler son…), “Get away from that noose before you get yourself killed…” (a flair for the dramatic, I guess..) to which the son replied, “Well, I’m just going to DIE anyway if I don’t get a Vanilla Bean Frappuccino soon!” I did a double take to see if that really had come out of the little boy’s mouth! The mom looked at me, looking at him, and said, “Yeah, I know…” (and I thought she would comment on the audacity and drama with which he made the statement) but instead, “Yeah, I know, he drinks a whole Venti by himself!” Who cares about the Venti, lady, this kid has issues…and I think it starts with the one holding the credit card! Haha!

On that subject…it is amazing to me, how many times in the last few days, I have witnessed kids under the age of 10, stand in the line, look up at the menu, and at the prompting of their parents, (“Come on…what do you want??”) order a coffee-based drink.

Now, don’t get me wrong…it keeps me in business…support the cause, start ‘em young and get ‘em hooked! But even I have my limit. Under 10? Ordering espresso drinks?? Not that I think it would do any harm (“it’ll stunt your growth!”)…but I can’t imagine being at home with a child who has been hopped up on caffeine.
The best part is when the mom or dad asks the child what THEY should order… “So, you’re going to have a pumpkin spice latte? What should I get?” or “Do you want to share a Venti White Mocha Frappuccino?” (two conversations of which I overheard…) and I mean, the parents are taking the advice of a child that is, obviously, mind altered by extraneous substances! Haha.

I mean, it’s one thing for a parent to take the advice of a toddler on something like a necktie or necklace. But to start asking your child what YOU should order?!? I can just imagine existing on a diet of Ringpops and bubblegum at the prompting of my five-year-old niece. Because if the kids had their way, parents, I can pretty much assure you, the sugar content in your diet would probably triple.

Hhhhmmm, maybe we need to rethink our marketing team target audience. Forget about alliteration- we need to just start making “Happy meal” type drinks with free little plastic toys aimed at making sure that kids are addicted and addicted hard to our product so that they will badger their parents to drink more Starbucks! Haha!