Bueller...? Bueller...? Bueller...?

There is some age old advice about public speaking- picture people in their underwear. My new job does not include public speaking, but it does include a type of public entertainment that requires the ability to perform for a crowd.
I like to call it functional diversion. The key to a success Starbucks is speed of service. 1. Get the people in the door. 2. Get the drinks in their hands. 3. Get them out the door. All the while providing service that leaves them with an impression of welcoming and satisfaction, wanting to come back for more, and more, and more… The way to measure speed of service is by customer feedback. If the customer NEVER realizes that they have waited in a really long line for a little cup of coffee, then they will be satisfied with the service, mission accomplished.

But not without a little functional diversion. This is where I will shine, and I have a good reason to be confident of this.

I don’t use the old wives tale of picturing people in their underwear (I wouldn’t have to work at that too hard because sometimes people come in wearing their pajamas which could count as underwear), but I do use another tactic to help me relax and engage even the hardest to reach customer. I picture them as junior high school kids. I think that junior high kids are at their most awkward age, an age that requires sensitivity and empathy and humor. I was never lacking in the confidence department when I was a young child, so I had no trouble making friends. I had a very enjoyable childhood in regards to how I felt about myself. But I also recognize now that as an adolescent, I appreciated adults that were relaxed and honest and open when communicating with me, instead of regarding me like a “child.”

So, in order to create my diversion, I convert people to junior high kids, I put them back in their awkward pre-teen years and suddenly, not only am I endeared to them, but I find myself catering to their needs with more urgency and care because of their delicate emotional state. And, oddly enough, even the toughest executives and sassiest housewives are putty in my hands. Men in suits become zit faced, braces wearing, self-conscious wanna-be macho little thirteen year old boys and my kind smile and conversation starters full of compliments immediately draw them in just enough to "push" them away with a sense of belonging and tenderness. I don’t really think people are putty in my hands, but I do think they appreciate my attentiveness to them while using my functional diversion.

We interrupt this message to announce an important announcement (from the department of redundancy department, haha…that was pretty funny, the redundancy line, I got it from a tshirt at urban outfitters, giving credit, just in case it’s copyrighted).

BING, BING, BING (that’s the sound of the announcement thing)- “Starbucks certified a new shift manager today and her name is Kara,” celebrating tonight for me!

Let me just say, “I want to thank my mom and dad. And of course, God, for making me amazing.” I’m kidding people, but I do, from the bottom of my heart offer those thanks on a daily basis, as God has provided me with a platform to be a part of people’s days in a way that allows me to serve and to showcase the love of God in surprising ways. And, of course, I am forever thankful for my incredible parents.

Surprising things about interaction- People are shocked by a kind word, by a genuine smile, and, amazingly enough, by EYE CONTACT.

I looked at a guy today and said, “One of your eyes is green and the other one is brownish” and guess what he said?? He told me, “You’d be shocked at how many people NEVER notice that!” Wow. I mean, this guy wasn’t, like, good-looking or anything, and I doubt that too many people even give him a second glance (and I don’t mean that in a rude way, it’s just reality…I mean, in a way, it’s rude to stare, but you know, eye contact is polite, I think when you are serving a person), but to think how many people go around and never really FOCUS on the people around them. We miss so many great stories by ignoring people and opportunities to learn about the differences that make everyone unique.

For example, this job just drops "opportunity to learn new things" every day- Today a lady asked for a Starbucks double shot breve (half and half) with whipped cream and caramel drizzle on top. I was watching it be made in the bar (practicing “managing” by observation of the baristas who are actually more knowledgeable on making some of the drinks than me still). I remember kind of going, “eeww” when the drink was ordered, but then, I ordered one at a Starbucks later this afternoon, and guess what? It was good. (the drink is basically two shots of espresso over ice, shaken, put in a cup, half and half poured over it, whipped cream and caramel syrup on top…good stuff…not better than a green tea frappcuccino but a good stand-by when I’m all matcha-powdered out).

Something else funny happened today before I left, after being CERTIFIED (in case anyone forgot about that)… Earlier in the day was a drink on the bar that was unclaimed…the barista KEPT yelling it out like in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" when the teacher keeps calling out his name...“Decaf Double Tall Extra Hot Skinny Vanilla Latte at the bar" (wait 30 seconds, then repeat)... Now imagine that being yelled about six times, while the drink sat there, untaken. Well, this happened about three times today. Another was, “Venti Two-Pump Extra Dry Hazelnut Cappuccino at the bar!” And I remember these drinks because they are so specific and we said them about eight times total from order to finish. Finally, when it happened a third time a drink left unclaimed, during a period we were kind of crowded, I thought, after yelling the drink out about four times and no one standing up to get it, I said for all to hear- “Blond-haired, blue eyed, educated, Christian, single white female at the bar with an iced triple grande soy cinnamon dulce latte!!”

Still no takers. Dang. What’s a girl got to do to get a date in this town? Haha! Oh well, at least I got a latte out of the deal.